Home page!!

I just started coding like a few weeks ago lol I'm learning HTML but CSS is so confusing it took me SO long to figure out what this box thing was and I'm ngl I had to look up how to do it. I feel like I'm cheating guys.

Anyways time for a rant:

I don't know what to do with my life. I grew up "poor" so I want a job that makes me a lot of money so I can support myself and my family if they need help. However, all the well-paying computer science jobs are so hard :( That's why I'm trying to learn a little myself and see if i can get a grant to go to college to learn more. I really want a stable job but I also want to be happy. I am very passionate about art. I have depression, anxiety, PTSD and I was recently told to get tested for OCD too. Art is the only thing that calms me and I want to make money off of that but it's a dying field. Especially with AI now :P But CS is also at risk because of AI isn't it? Which is another reason why I'm unsure about this path.

I just love art and coding is a bit...idk. Boring? Frustrating? Risky? It feels more fun as a hobby. I'm having fun talking about myself right now but if I were to create websites for other people I'd be so bored and uninterested. The process is only fun because of the product. If I were to do something for someone else, then the product would mean nothing to me. I want a job that will be tolerable. A job where I can just sit at a desk and avoid talking seems like the best option but I don't want to be unhappy for the rest of my life. I mean I already will be with all these mental problems™ but still- I just have a lot of feelings about it.

I want to add a chat box to see if anyone has advice but I don't know how. Maybe I should just add my contacts or something. Why am I typing my thought process right now T_T Update: I added a chat box and my contacts yay!